Vacation?

So I finally get the chance to come home for some down time and have my sister and her new kid (I'm an uncle now!) to play with yet am torn and can't enjoy my vacation time...what's going on?

I've worked I think pretty hard to get to this point but still haven't really accomplished anything by myself. That is, I haven't really written down a model solved it and all that. And it really bothers me and makes it hard for me to go to bed sometimes. I just can't accept the fact that I can be such a failure academically at something I've worked really hard at and it's killing me inside. I just wish someone would reassure me instead of pressuring me by asking me every chance they get what I've been doing in terms of research...I just need someone to tell me it's going to be ok...I know it is, since God won't let anything untoward really happen but I'm just exhausted mentally and as much as I try not to think about it I still struggle with this and struggle with it mightily.

What can I do? Who am I aside from this person who studies and does economics? This existential crisis is really hard. Lord if you are calling me can you be with me then? I know what I have to do yet I can't really do it. I'm torn between doing work, relaxing, studying Your word, spending time with my family, everything...I'm just really tired. Help me by speaking to me Lord. Please come close and hold my heart. I know You're there but I'm just really weak right now...